She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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