the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize