How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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