he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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