Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm sobbing to NWA
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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