Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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