I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
