Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
