he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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