Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
