this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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