Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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