found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
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