hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
