My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Slut skills are useful in every country.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
My bed smells like the plague
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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