i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
