she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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