He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
