well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize