And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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