biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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