wake up i wanna do it froggy style
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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