First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.