you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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