Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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