They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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