That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
