finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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