I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
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