im drinking this country out of the recession.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
