Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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