I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
