I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
There r osticjed everywhere
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
