Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
