My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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