no you cant smoke seaweed
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
