how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
