she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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