Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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