My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
