I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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