Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize