This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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