Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
