How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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