they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
