We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
