I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
