i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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