he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
