you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My bed smells like the plague
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
