Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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