glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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