do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
