great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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