Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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