so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
