If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
