Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
