Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
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He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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