Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
