After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
