You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Mom said you looked used
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
