Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
