We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
what is it with giant penises always finding me
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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