cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
